


Better be Hufflepuff

by Misty123



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Consensual Sex, Dumbledore Bashing, Good Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Multi, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-30 07:53:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12649338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misty123/pseuds/Misty123
Summary: What would have happened if Severus and Lily had been sorted into the badger house.





	1. Lily makes a point

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trickster32](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster32/gifts).



> Only saying this once, I do not own the characters of Harry Potter and I am only playing with them. There will be major character bashing and this is an alternative universe, Lily is goodish here, and is a good friend to Severus and her sister.

‘Evans Lily’ called out the deputy headmistress, and a redheaded eleven year old girl walked purposely towards the three legged stool and sorting hat, when she had sat herself on the stool, the deputy headmistress placed the sorting hat on her head. Before the hat had a chance to speak or read her mind the girl with a pronounced northern accent spoke to the hat “I will go where ever the headmaster wants me....BUT only on one condition” stated the girl

Alex the hat was perplexed and asked “So what is your condition child”  
“That you sort my friend into the Hufflepuff house, he’s name is Severus Snape!”  
“Why should I concede to your request! And what is so important to you about your friend then?”

“With a sigh the girl let down her mental barriers, and the hat read her mind and the concerns and friendship she had with the young wizard Severus Snape. The hat after a few minutes answered her “Ah! You are a scio....”  
“Yes! Yes! I am a sociopath....but I DO HAVE morals you know.....I didn’t want to come to the crappy school really, after all what use is magic going to do for me in the mundane world...but me and my sister decided...”  
“For you to come here and ensure that your friend was rescued form his abusive family. Alright then a deal is a deal Lily Evans.....and I for one will always remember the old goats face when I say....LET IT BE HUFFLE PUFF...I would wish you luck child, but I don’t think you will need it in your life” with that Lily Evans stood up and place the hat on the sorting stool and made her way over to the badgers house. She knew that her friend the shy lonely boy Severus Snape would be sorted into the same house as her, and that hopefully their new head of house would be able to rescue him from his family. She had made sure that the sorting hat knew what would happen to it if it didn’t live up to their bargain when the hat looked in her mind. After all cloth no mater how magical was, had no defence against mundane scissors, petrol and matches, she ensured the hat saw how much stress relief to her was seeing objects or buildings on fire after she had dosed them with petrol and set fire to them. Her sister and adopted brothers always thought she had slight pyromaniac tendencies on the quiet, especially after the perverts car was fire bombed by her, after Petunia told her about thier neighbours wandering hands and suggestive comments. The family had quickly left the neighbourhood after the burning of their car and the words a paedophile lives here sprayed on the front and back doors, and burned into the front and back lawns, really Lily had found that being a sociopath allowed her to find more constructive and creative answers to the problems she encountered. 

Lily knew she was what mundanes called a sociopath, she had a conscience but it never stopped her from doing what she wanted or thought she needed to do. She loved her family including Severus as much as she could, and would protect them with every fibre of her being. Petunia had begged her to stay in Cokeworth with her, but she had stated to her sister that the only way to get their brother in all but name to safety was to ensure that someone at the dump called Hogwarts ensured his safety and removed him from his abusive family.

After the oaf Professor Slughorn had left, both girls had poured and digested the pamphlet that he had left, and from Petunia managing to speak to the Goblins at the bank when Lily distracted Slughorn while he showed Lily around the magical dump of Diagon Alley, where she ohhed and ahhed like a five year old at the crappy and falling down shops. Now she wished she could go with Severus and his mother to the undesirable area of Knockdown Alley, where she and Petunia knew the best magical shops and clothes were. 

Petunia was able to confirm to Lily that the headmaster had plans for her and had already had a contract made out for her. Which meant they realised that the sorting of students into the different houses could be manipulated, so if the headmaster wanted Lily in a particular house, then they would ensure that they followed the advice of the goblins, to ensure that Severus was sorted in the Badger house, where the head of house would remove Severus from his family.

It had taken a bit of persuasion from Lily, but her parents had taken them to Gringotts bank again to find out more about Dumbledore plans for her. Well sitting in the Goblin office reading the contract made out between the Potters and Dumbledore (as her magical guardian) had left them all livid. Their was no way in hell that she was going to marry somebody she hadn’t met. 

Lily had managed to persuade her parents to ask the Goblins to arrange for her a new magical guardian, so her bonding contract could be terminated. Her parents agreed, and when she had met the biggest arehole and Pratt of the century her intended....one James Potter and his group called the marauders, she knew she had made the right decision. She may be a sociopath, that group of friends were biggoted narcisstic bullying rich scum! And the last person she could bond with, hell she would bond with her friend Severus before that Pratt. And would be impossible, as she realised her friend was 1) Gay and 2) She and Petunia loved him like a younger brother. No Lily planned to bide her time, and when the headmaster as her guardian produced the bonding contract between her and the Dick head Potter, he would find himself as the submissive partner to one James Potter. Apparently Lady magic was funny like that, and ensured that the signatures of illegal contracts were heavily punished if asked to make a judgement on them by the wronged party. It also gave her seven years to find a spell or hex to castrate the Pratt, so that there was no chance of him passing on his defective genes to future generations. 

But tonight she would send a letter to her parents, ensuring them she was safe and sound and of course carried upon her at all times her knitting, the needles were sharpened so they could leave nasty wounds on people and in some instances even kill them, and that she was of course continuing with her practice of Kick boxing and Karate to keep fit.

She would send a coded letter to Petunia outlining that the first part of thier plans were completed, and ensure her sister sent to her mundane course books, that she and Severus could study on the quiet. After all she wanted to join the Navy as an officer, their good fiend Vernon Dursley wanted to be an Army officer. Petunia was still undecided in either following her dreams of completing and engineering degree or becoming a lawyer, and they would ensure that their brother Severus had as many options as them when they both finally left Hogwarts school. The three of them had decided he was not going to waste his Mensa level intelligence on just being a potions master, when there were countless other opportunities in the mundane world for him.

Sitting at her house table, Lily saw the outrage and anger on Headmaster Dumbledore’s face when Severus was sorted into the Badger house with her, whatever he wanted or planned for Severus was not pleasant she could see. After all as her sister had said, just before they said goodbye on the platform at Kings Cross, it takes a sociopath to know another sociopath or psychopath, and Lily knew that is what chief warlock Albus Dumbledore was.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Eleven year old Severus Snape cried himself to sleep the first ever night at Hogwarts School for wizards and witches, at least his only friend and blood adopted sister mundane Lily Evans had been sorted into the same house as him, even though she had wanted the Lions house. He had seen her face on the train here, it was a good job really that she had been sorted with him into the badger house, she had pretended to be impressed with the boys sorted into the Lions house, that rudely interrupted thier conversation and took over their carriage, but her body language gave her away. Little tells that he had noticed over the years proved that she wanted and had set her sights at least on ensuring that the rich and handsome James Potter was either killed by her or castrated painfully. 

There was wispering outside of his dormitory, and a prefect came in and told him their head of house was waiting for him in their common room. Severus reluctantly got up and put and followed the prefect downstairs into the common room to see his head of house.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Professor Pomona Sprout sat waiting in her houses common room with two mugs of hot chocolate, she had learnt that hot chocolate with marshmallows on the top calmed down the most homesick of students.   
Pomona watched one of newest pupils make his way over to her, she noticed how the boy favoured one side, and was very slightly limping. The boy was obviously too thin and looked severely malnourished and his night wear under his second hand robes, was little more than rags sewn together. Pomona there and then decided that she would be visiting the Goblins with her long time husband Flitwick and ensuring the child was placed somewhere safe and loving. No child deserved to have a neglectful or abusive childhood, and she knew her husband and his family would help her with her abused badger.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Severus entered the warm and cosy common room and made his way over to his head of house Professor Sprout, who had on the table beside her two cups of hot chocolate, one he noticed with marshmallows. Professor Sprout waited till Severus was sat beside her, and gave him the cup of chocolate with the marshmallows’ and she lightly hugged him, while he found himself crying and telling her all about his hopes and dreams. He even found himself telling her that his mother would be shocked and disappointed with him being sorted into the badger house. 

Pomona Sprout sat with the too skinny child in her arms, and listened to his worries and fears, his dreams and hopes. But she had noticed that not once did he complain or tell her about his family life back in the mundane world. She knew that Severus like most half magical children had a bad childhood, it was inevitable really, most magical families especially the old pure blood families whether light or dark followers would never forgive the transgression and sin of a magical child of theirs choosing a partner in the mundane world. Pomona Sprout had plans to discuss with her husband, and a visit to his paternal family the goblins to arrange, there was a reason that most children from severely abused families were sorted into the Badgers or Snake house, there the children found friends and families that would help them through the remainder of their childhood.

Normally pure blood children especially abused children were sorted into the Slytheryn house, they had learnt like thier abuse mundane and half blood breathen how to cope in a hostile environment. There were surprisingly very few abused half bloods or mundane children. The ones that the Alex the sorting hat found ensured they were sorted into her house, where she with her husbands family ensured they were looked and cared after.

For many abuse children in her care, especially the mundane children a letter to the relevant mundane authorities including the mundane charity the NSPCC, normally ensured that the child was and family were either supported, or the child removed.

But Pamoana had realised at the welcoming feast that the headmaster Albus Dumbledore had not been happy with the boy in her arms sorting. He had expected or even maybe tried to influence Alex into sorting him into the most inappropriate house for him the Snake house. 

She had soon realised when speaking to Severus tonight, that the child was terrified of the adults that should have loved him, he was a chameleon hiding and changing into what people wanted to see. A child like this, gifted, terrified and abused and unloved would have become if sorted into the snake house a follower of the Dark Lord aka Tom Riddle. People like Severus were used by the hungry and powerful in their society for their nefarious ends, and the biggest user she and her husband knew was one Warlock Albus Dumbledore, she did not understand or want to know what his evil plans were for this poor child in her arms, but she would ensure that she thwarted the plans of Albus Dumbledore, like she had with many other abused half blood children that he tried to use.

But now that the too skinny and abused child was sorted into the Badger house, he would make good and lasting friends and be put into a safe and loving magical or mundane family. Severus would have the chance to live his life and hopefully fulfill or supersede his dreams and hopes. Professor Sprout had made a unbreakable vow to magic when she started this job, and when reaffirmed the vow with her other three colleagues the head of the other houses to try to protect the children from all families under their care when the war loving fools Dumbledore and Tom started to inch towards war between themselves, to ensure that any Badger in her house was kept as safe and away for the manipulations of the two men.

But first things first, she would ensure that Filluis family documented the extent of the abuse that the child had endured, and ask that they make the child her ward and removed from his abusive family. Then with the help of the Goblin healers and thier friend Horace ensure the child in her arms was healed from his injuries and malnutrition. Pomona knew that tonight after she had return this child to his bed in the dormitory, she would be thanking and offerings gifts to lady magic for helping her identify and help a abused and alone half magical child. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore was furious, livid and incansitant with righteous rage at what the sorting hat had done that evening. The hat after all was only a cloth hat that should just randomly sort children into the different houses of Hogwarts. Oh there were of course the exceptions, families tended to be sorted in to the same house, and he ensured that the wealthy and titled pure blood light families children were sorted into the light house of Gryfindor, or the placement of the right kind of mundane child like the social climbing little sociopath Lily Evans, he had marked her out for his future plans when he had read the reports from the head of houses on the mundane children and their families they visited. 

Albus had been very satisfied with the report regarding Lily Evans from his potions master Horace Slughorn. The man was seen as a social climbing third class potion master fool by the rest of the school staff and student body, but the man understood and examined the evidence subtle or otherwise presented to him. Horace had seen for him disturbing evidence of Lily’s character and social interactions, especially towards her younger sibling a sister and parents, but what Horace had found disturbing and worrying about Lily Evans, Albus looked forward to using and being able to groom the girl to become a willing pawn and weapon in his plans.

But for the rest of the mundane and the few of half blood scum that were allowed entrance to his school and domain, it did not matter where they were sorted. It only mattered that a few children were sorted to his prefences and needs. One of those had been the half breed bastard Arabian son of the disgraced witch Eileen Prince, the daughter of a once prominent light family the Princes. He had ensured that her only child was abused and ready to moulded into his future slave and spy, he had intervened when the mundane local government had been informed of the abusive household that the child lived in; and now all his hard work could be at risk because the sorting hat had decided to sort the child into the wrong house. 

Albus was not a fool by any means and now knew that his plans for one Severus Snape were scuppered, Pomona and her half creature husband Filluis would ensure the child was now well protected and placed in a loving home. He now had to tread very carefully with the Mundane Government, if they suspected his involvement in the condoning of child abuse, especially on what they laughing classed as a mundane raised half breed child then they would stop the 100% funding of Hogwarts school. He still remembered the letters and threats made by the mundane government to the ministry of magic, one more case of the magical society either ignoring, condoning or aiding the abuse of a mundane raised child whether the child be mundane or a half breed would force them to act and repatriate the school into their care totally. No the Snape child or now any other mundane half breed magical raised child was off limits, he now needed to ensure that a pure bred child was groomed to take the role of one Severus Snape....but who to choose, who to choose.....perhaps he should hedge his bets and groom at least two children he knew he could mould successfully! Ah yes he would concentrate on moulding Barty Crouch Junior and Susan Bones, both were from different houses then the Snake house. But that was no obstacle to him and his plans for them and the wizarding world, he after all was the master of all he saw and wanted; which was namely the wizarding world.

But at least his plans for the silly mundane girl Lily Evans, the precocious brat James Potter heir to the Potter family, and his three new friends and stooges was still in place, yes what did it matter that a half breed Arabian wizard had escaped his fate. After all the boy although important to his plans was not irreplaceable like the his Godson and friends who he would be able to control and train to be his loyal servants and followers. No he now knew that he had to not use any mundane or mundane raised half breed in his plans or the upcoming war that he was planning, which sadly meant that he could only really use the pupils from the Gryffindor’s and Slytheryn houses for his plans, oh there were a few magical pure blood and magical raised half breeds from the other houses he could use, but not many and in fact he was about to use and groom the only possible two children from the other houses for his plans. No for the foreseeable future the houses of the Eagles and Badgers would be safe from his planning and plotting, and really having the mundane witch Lily Evans in the Badge house, would work even better then placing her in the Lions house. She would not see first hand the bullying and intimidation that his Godson and friends would use and employ against their peers, so after five or maybe six years at the most the little social climbing sociopath would bond with his Godson believing that she could control him, when in reality he would control them both.


	2. Going with the flow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily reassures Severus that she is taking her Hogwarts studies seriously. A special edition of the daily profit has disturbing news for James Potter and his Godfather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my good friend trickster for editing and encouraging me in the characters for this story.

Severus looked at his best well only friend and asked incredulously “What do you mean; you aren’t worried about your homework or school grades Lily? If we don’t pass the yearly exams then we will be expelled from Hogwarts and the magical community” They were both sitting in their common room at one of the desks, and Severus was trying to get his sister to take her school studies seriously.

“That is a lot of crap Severus! For someone so intelligent....you are so thick sometimes”, Lily responded to Severus question.

Severus stood in their common room with his mouth open shocked, surely Lily knew that they had to study hard and pass their exams this year and have respectable grades on their course work, to stay in Hogwarts and the magical world.

Lily sighed and continued “Look Severus! Think logically about the matter. There are what may be 100 pupils per year at Hogwarts?” Severus nodded his head “Which means that there are only 100 new wizards and witches graduating from Hogwarts a year. Now mundane mixed schools have at least 100 wizards and witches attending them, and learn a lot more than the drivel we learn here......Also Petunia and me did some research about this dump, and our Government or the ‘mundane government’ as the magical society names them fully fund Hogwarts and have been ever since it was first established. There is no way that the Board of Governors’ or our esteemed idiot head would dare expel any mundane or mundane raised half child from here, if they did then the mundane government could and would pull the financial support from Hogwarts. All the pureblood idiots are having their education funded by the mundane government......so stop worrying about passing the course work....and of course there is another reason I know for certain why we are going to pass our exams this year Severus!”

Severus knew this was a bad question to ask Lily, but like a moth to a flame he was compelled to ask “What is the reason, that you know we will pass our exams this year Lily?”

“Because all our subjects are aimed at the thickest intellect at Hogwarts, not the intelligent kids like us” Lily answered him smugly.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, as his best friend and blood sister continued “There are four houses, containing approximately 25 pupils from each year, and in the house group the pupils are of mixed ability and intelligence...which means that the course work we are learning has to be easy and dumbed down for the thickos amongst us......which surprisingly is all the pure bloods like Potter and his Marauders. After all we know they are thick and still pass their course work whilst playing planks and bullying other students....Severus we know more about Maths and English then any of the purebloods, and the mundane sciences are way ahead of the subjects taught here. So we are to concentrate on the mundane subject work books that Petunia and Vernon are sending us, WE WILL MAKE SOMETHING OF OUR LIVES...we are going places, and if I need to I will drag you screaming there with me.....NOW GET OUT THE BIOLOGY SET BOOKS that Petunia sent us, that is a subject that is far more interesting and useful then transfiguration” With a defeated sigh Severus went and retrieved his books and the friends started to study the mundane subjects that their siblings had sent to them by owl post.

Half an hour later Severus sighed and Lily turned to him and said “Alright spill it! What has got you so worried?”

Severus replied “The goblins have found my mother's maternal family and they have agreed to take over my guardianship now”

“Severus! That is great!....you will have a real home now and with people who hopefully care about you” well they had better thought Lily or a few spells and potions could be coming their way “But why did they not rescue you earlier then?” enquired Lily

“Because they never knew about me, my maternal family are really my step family or something like that” at Lily’s questioning look, Severus continued “My Granddad left my Grandmother just before the first world war for a young rich witch, the witch was disinherited from the family but she had her own fortune......well my Step grandmother apparently settled with my Grandfather in Hull. She had three girls and a son who followed in Grandfather's footsteps and became a bigamist during the second world war, when the family said cryptically that he spent the war doing on his Majesty’s service on Exmoor moor, they really meant he spent the seven years of the war in Dartmoor prison. Which wasn’t so bad apparently, but he then shacked up legally with Frau Hitler he had bigamist married before the war!, and the youngest daughter married a soldier and they had seven children and they moved to a sea side town called Withernsea or was it Whitby? And I am to be adopted by the second youngest daughter who married a Londoner and moved down south to Hertfordshire!” 

Lily sat there with her mouth open gaping like a fish, out of all the things she hoped or thought would happen, this had come nowhere near the top of the list. Lily looked at Severus and demanded “Spill the rest of it!......there is more isn’t there!”

“Well yes! You know Jaws” Lily ahems agreement, and Severus continued “He is now my older brother, and Conner is my other brother” Lily looked at Severus and asked “So when do I meet your brothers officially, and can Petunia, Vernon and me visit you in the holidays” Severus looked shocked at his friend as Lily continued “Dark, rugged, handsome and going far with the right woman behind him and I have heard that he wants to join up as well. A married Navy couple! Our children will be intelligent, loveable and...”

“Complete and utter little nightmares, Lily!” Severus looked at what Lily was reading “But that’s not all, it seems according to the Goblins my Grandfather the one who divorced my Grandmother, was the rightful heir to not only the Prince Lordship, but also the Potter Lordship. He was disinherited by Great Great Grandfather Prince, but apparently not his children. So the fact that I am the only legitimate Great Great Grandson, means I will become Lord Potter and Prince when I turn seventeen. There will be a regency of course to help and advise me until I reach my majority of twenty-five”

“But! Isn’t arsehole Potter the heir to the Lordship then?” Lily asked “Ahh, no! Apparently, James' father and Grandfather have tried to illegally have my families claim rescinded in the Wizengamot with the Headmaster’s support as he is Chief Warlock..........but only the British monarch can legally rescind any magical Lordship....and they never have, which is why James Father although using the title Lord can not vote in the Wizengamot and.........perhaps we shouldn’t go to dinner tonight, Lils”

“Why ever not Severus, it’s your favourite tripe and onions. Asked the elves to cook specially for you” Lily asked, obviously not wanting to miss one of her favourite meals.

Severus stammered slightly, took a deep breath and continued “Gringotts have sent the letter telling the Potters about me and the Lordship......and somehow, and I don’t know how apparently a reporter has found out and it will be in a special edition of the Daily Prophet tonight and there will be a....... Lily, why have you got a grimoire out of the restricted section.....no, don’t tell me how you did it and not get caught, what I don’t know I can use in my defence......Lily! that potion will change...”

“Sirius Black the jerk into a woman permanently...and once a woman the jerk will be bonded to the big headed brat Lucius Malfoy as he comes from the old Black family.....saving his cousin for sweet Ted Tonks.....” Lily looked at a whiten and shocked Severus “Oh come on! It is the solution to the problem of the Sirius I AM A MISOGYNIST CHAUVINISTIC SPOILT PRAT...this way he will be eliminated and controlled.....sort of you know heard that.......”

“That what, Lily...spill it”

“That the fortunate Black heiress to bond with the Malfoy family will finally end a centuries old blood feud...and that the bonding contract is an absolute contract...so how do we administer the potion to Sirius...so it has effect before Christmas; would make the perfect Christmas present from Father Christmas after all”

Severus just looked at her and responded “Who for? Obviously not for the Pratt himself”

“Everybody else at Hogwarts that are not in the Lions house! All the available witches he could maul his paws over...you know anybody from the age of eleven to they are still breathing just!”

“He loves anything sweet, so get the elves to administer it to his puddings”

“Severus! I love you....no matter what anybody says, you are a genius” Severus looked at Lily and replied “You have made friends with the house elves haven’t you, Lily?”

“Dad always said look out for and befriend people, they will always come in useful and know all the schools gossip and secrets; so I gave and showed the elves some mundane cleaning equipment to make their jobs easier.......and of course the sweets....the new tea towels mum sent me etc. Petunia is making them cute little uniforms and clothes to wear as well, with different slogans on their shirts!”

Severus just looked at his friend and sister in all but blood, he was so glad that she was his friend and on his and his siblings side. Lily would defend any body she loved with everything she had, but her own personal motto was her sister’s school motto of ‘don’t get caught’ thank Merlin he thought that there had not been to another Evans girls going to the Petunia’s school of St Trinians catholic school for girls, but he would have liked to attend Smeltings with their adopted brother Vernon.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Petunia never thought she would be doing this for her sister, sitting across from a prefect in her school and negotiating the sale of drugs. The price was not high and really the prefect just looked perplexed at Petunia and confirmed “SO! Lets get this clear, you want these specific hormones for a period of four years at least.....and you are willing to pay the demanded price then!”

“Good god, no Rosalyn! The deal is that I play for you in the inter-county football team and accidentally break that toff nose's leg by completing a tackle, giving us a chance to regain the football trophy....I do not tell everyone that you actually swot for your exams and pass them without cheating!.........I ensure that I keep the local leader of the Hell's Angels very busy and happy when you decide to challenge them to the repeat ten pin bowling contest that we lost last year! And you give me the medication for as long as I need it; it is very simple really Rosalyn” Petunia just looked down at her perfectly manicured nails and waited for the verdict from the prefect before her.

Rosalyn looked at the firstie before her with new eyes, the girl no matter what anybody had said not only belonged at the school, but was surely promoting herself to be a prefect and then the ultimate accolade of being St Trinians Head girl. But not wanting to go down without some sort of profit out of the deal the girl replied with “Alright fair enough!......but you get your magical sister to supply us with the a supply of legal highs that she can brew at that school for us...so we as a school can undercut the local competition”

“Deal” replied Petunia, and the girls shook hands on it, now all Petunia had to do was sell the deal to her sister Lily, who would somehow convince their brother Severus to brew the potions for them.

“Ah! Can I deliver the first batch of drugs after the Christmas holiday....takes time to make the drugs” Petunia reasoned

“Yeah! Okay...whatever! first course of hormone treatment will be here for you tomorrow” the other girl replied. Petunia left the table and went promptly to the nearest toilets and was sick. Just thinking about letting the Hells Angel leader paw her was sicking thought. What she did for people she called her family, but looking on the positive side if Lily’s plan worked for that git Sirius Black, then in about four years time his family would have a nice little shock. Really as Lily and now Severus said Magicals believed they were so far ahead of mundanes, when really the magical society was still in the eighteenth century, especially when it came to defining people's sex. Hopefully at the end of all this Sirius would be bonded into an absolute contract, yes for not the first time Petunia was glad that Lily and their adopted family got on and supported each other, she would hate to ever be on the wrong side of Lily’s wrath, her sister made the saying ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’ an understatement.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lily read the letter from her sister Petunia, so the hormones for the misogynist prat and heir Black would be arriving next week; so that was the first part of her plan completed and the deal that Petunia had struck was acceptable, even if she had to somehow poly juice herself to look like Petunia. Petunia was such a sensitive soul when it came to anything sexual, and it would definitely scar her for life having a bad boy like the leader of the local Hells Angel group maul her, where as Lily would see it as a learning curve and experience, after all who said you had to have sex to full fill a man!

Now for ensuring that their payment was full filled, not for the first time did Lily wish her adopted brother Severus was more worldly wise. Oh, who was she kidding, Severus' charms was that he was really just like a young boy in many ways. He should keep this innocence as long as possible and anyone who tried to harm him, would regret it, after she had finished them off. She remember the brute in primary school, who had tried to make fun of Severus' clothes and tried to beat him up. A lunchbox filled with stones, brought her message across, while Petunia helped her to flamed his eyebrows with the old army lighter from their grandfather. Of course, since they had to attend a Catholic School, they had to do such corrections outside of the Nurses' observations. But Severus was always good at distracting people and they enjoyed teaching him more about the Roman Catholic Church, and that was where of course Vernon joined thier little group.

Lily knew he still believed in Father Christmas, even though the only presents he had got from him was Father Christmas drunken fists beating him Christmas eve and day. But the thing that endeared him to her and the rest of her siblings was that he had a conscience, in fact Petunia always stated that he was her Jiminy Cricket, the conscience she did not really have. But her conscience had to be played so subtly, he had stopped her from using the gender changing potion on the Black creep, which was for the best when she had thought about it sensibly. After all she would have been caught, and although being expelled from this dump and being sent to Petunia’s school would have been a boon; she couldn’t leave their naive and innocent brother Severus to the hooligans this school had. Also she did have her eye on Jaws, big, handsome, intelligent and kind to puppies, children and old dears but hated the Marauders and all bullies with a passion. Also he wanted to join the mundane Army when he graduated from this dump, all Lily had to do was change his sights to the Royal Navy or the Royal Air Force after all both services were less likely to use their service men as cannon fodder, and she would ensure Jaws and herself went far.

But she needed Severus to brew the drugs that they needed, now how to persuade him it was for a good cause that he could support. AH, yes! Why of course their vicar's wife, so frail and arthritic, so easy to get Severus to brew a cannabis/cocaine and mild antidepressant high for her, so that she could still play the organ and run their Methodist church and minister with an iron rod (she had taken lessons from the woman, by observing her all the years of attending boring church services with her family). Of course she would ensure the woman received some of the medication to help her with her ailments. After all Severus although childlike in his innocence was not stupid and would check that the woman was receiving the medication he brewed. It was always useful to ensure that they had people who help them in the future in their pockets. Yes phase one of the Marauders' revenge was under way!

Phase two was finding out if the bully and prick Remus I am so not worthy Lupin, was as Severus suspected a werewolf, if he was then that gave Lily a lot more options to plan the ultimate revenge against the Uriah Heep of Hogwarts. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand in life, it was a bully and coward that stood behind other coat tails and let them do the dirty work.

So part one of the extermination of Lupin from this world was to befriend the loser, the things she did for her family and especially her brother Severus. But having long term goals at this dump of a school at least kept her interested and her life here productive.

She had of course ensured that the Daily Prophet would be so carefully delivered to her this evening, but the Owl would drop it by the thick Gryffindor girl ‘I am such a blonde and beautiful bimbo, that I just spread my legs and men will do anything for me loud mouth’ Mary. That girl will of course just spurt out what was on the first page, with out realising what she was reading (she did of course have the reading age of six year old and still had to pronounce each letter pheonically out loud when reading). It had been a rush of course. But the reporter Skeeter was so helpful in ensuring the story was on the first page and of course with the antics of the Potter boy along side it. Apparently the headline would read Boy at Hogwarts found beating a first year unconscious, and then of course it mentioned about the Potters not being the rightful Lord or heirs. She also ensured for a future price of course that the real Heirs name was not disclosed. One of the joys of being in the badger house was that loyalty and friendship countered for everything, and Skeeter's niece was pupil in the Badger house. The pictures of James appearing to be indiscreet with certain people could have also swayed the reporter, the magical world may have ‘moving pictures’ but the mundane world had instant digital camera and laptops with camera shop software, the one with James kneeling in front of the headmaster was particularly good, pity that it never quite happened that way, two photos merged together! And as the magical people say photographs cannot lie.

Ah here was Richardson just the boy she had wanted to see, she needed him and his co-operation to ensure that the old important magical rituals such as Yule were openly followed again at Hogwarts. Really she thought Albus Dumbledore was an amateur in manipulating situations to his advantage. So Lily did what she knew she did best, undid the top bottom of her oh slightly too tight school blouse and went and sat by the boy, ensuring her school skirt rose just a little bit two high showing her stocking tops. After all most heterosexual teenage boys were putty in the hands of a well endowed slapper! And Lily in the game of life would use all the advantages that life and lady magic had given to her.  
.Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was Supper time in the great hall, and Lily had with the help of their friends including Severus' new family dragged him to the Great Hall. They had just finished supper, and were just about to tuck in to the pudding course when a lone Owl flew into the hall with the copy of the special Edition of the Daily Prophet, it made a beeline for Bimbo Mary and flew off. Thankfully before Severus could try to hide himself, the bimbo read out loud the first part of the article.

Professor McGonnagall promptly strode down the Gryffindor table and took the offending paper, she took one look at the photo on the front page and promptly fainted. The newspaper flew out her hands and landed in front of an Eagle who looked at the front page and yelled to Potter “Oh! Potter is the fact you give your Godfather the headmaster blow jobs on your knees, the reason you get a way with bullying everyone else”

Of course, James strenuously denied the Eagle's claim, Arthur Weasley took the paper from the eagle and the idiot of course shouted out to the whole school “Photographs do not lie James, and the photograph clearly shows you on your knees with your mouth round the headmaster’s cock. Did you enjoy sucking his dick, James?”

A member of the Snake house butted into the conversation with “Is that why you and your friends pass your coursework with out trying......suck your Godfathers cock and he gives you a free pass!”

Another catcall was heard saying “Explains the reason why his group of thugs can bully and prank people with out paying any consequences” Suddenly the Great hall was filled with people cat calling James and his ‘very close relationship with his Godfather’

Lily admitted it herself that she couldn’t have timed it better, as right on cue an owl landed in front of Dumbledore and let go of a howler from the head of the Board of Governor’s, demanding that he explain the papers photographs and apparent actions at a specially convened board meeting that evening. 

Lily would admit it to herself that although she had never planned for today's events to happen to start discrediting the headmaster, she would of course like the clever sociopath she was take full advantage of them and include them in her revamped plans for the headmaster's fall from high office! She was her parents' daughter after all, and although it seemed she took after her homely mother, she had the street smarts and personality of her father, and he had taught her well. 

She had only to ensure that the headmaster or James Potter wouldn't harm Severus, she knew he would try to win back control or even retaliate violently, when he learn the true identity of the true Heir Potter & Heir Prince. Lily was a quick learner, but the Headmaster had decades to refine his magical powers, and could ensure that he planned and pass his knowledge on to James Potter. No, it was much better, when Severus would be never alone with the old coot or any Gryfindor member anywhere in the building – definitely not with the rest of the Marauders. James Potter creeped her out. He always stared at her Severus, as if he wanted to devour him.


	3. We don't need your eduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumbledore makes revised plans on new information. But first he has to re introduce the old ways and rituals to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to trickster32,who very patiently edits these stories and adds their twists to them. As always character bashing and this is an alternative universe story.

Albus Dumbledore had a secret, well many to be precise. All his secrets would if they were ever made public ruin him and lead him to getting the Dementor's kiss, but one secret he nursed in his bitter pure blood heart was that he despised and utterly loathed half breeds and muggle born witches or wizards. He of course used them for his own means and ends, like ensuring the old magic and rituals were discontinued as it apparently alienated the mundane students.

But what had the little shits parents done, only complained to the board of governors and their mundane government that their festivals and religious and cultural traditions were not being followed, except for a narrow version of the Christian faith.

When he had been hauled over the coals about his supposed behaviour with his Godson, the idiotic James Potter. He had managed with the support of most of the Governors he had in his pocket for various reasons side step the allegations. He the Great Warlock Albus Dumbledore had been formerly disciplined and the rule implemented that he could not see or speak to any pupil alone now, there always had to be a neutral third party present. In the case of mundane and the half breed mundane raised pupils, Dumbledore had to ensure that the pupils parents or mundane government representative was in the room with Albus for all meetings.

The board had decided in their wisdom to move his Godson from his apparent old house of Gryffindor to the Badger house, where he would have even less control or influence on the boy. It was actually fortuitous for him that he had ditched the plans regarding James Potter, after all the boy and his family were just a run of the mill middle class magical family now with out influence or say in Magical society. No he had decided that the pupil that would fulfil James role in his plans was the gormless idiot Frank Longbottom, the lad after all was as the mundane saying went as thick as two short planks. The boy this year had been fortuitously it seemed now sorted into Gryffindor house, he just knew he could set up the social climbing bimbo Mary to bond to Frank, and when the time came both would tragically die by Voldemort’s hands leaving their child in his hands, with all the political power and money the old Longbottom family had. It was a pity that the boys parents were not long for this plane of existence, one would be slowly poisoned using an undetectable mundane poison and the other parent would die of a broken heart of course help along by muggle medication.

He had a quiet word with the real leader of the Marauders Peter Pettigrew, and instructed him on how to replace James Potter with Frank Longbottom. People especially Pure bloods Gellert had found during his many years of existence were easily controlled.

Gellert heard the statue at the end of the stairway to his office move aside to allow some one access to his office, with a sigh Gellert readied himself to become his nemesis and one time lover Albus Dumbledore. It was a shame that he had to imprison his innocent and naive lover Albus Dumbledore in his specially built prison, that was warded to only his blood signature and magic. As the mundane rightly stated the apparent victors in any war wrote the history of the period. After he defeated Albus Dumbledore, he had imprisoned the naive man and taken his place.

It was easy to do after all, for years he had been his ex lover's name to get out of trouble and the scrapes he had got into to. So it was easy to become for good the great warlock Albus Dumbledore the defeater of evil Gellert Grindelwald. The only one who knew about the ruse where his most trusted followers – all bound to him with a blood oath, combined with a tongue tied curse and an unbreakable vow. They would literally die for him, should he demand it and they knew his personal taste quite well and brought him any young flesh he could have asked for. He had chosen his followers wisely and now he reaped the benefits of it. They still trained the new generations of followers on his hidden estates all around the world. Gellert counted already the days, after he had successfully dealt with this ridiculous upstart and wannabe dark lord Voldemort, then he would shed his mask and forced the world once more trembling under his dominance. Yes, he wouldn't lose to anyone and he would make sure that they all fear his wrath, when the time is right.

What he need to do, were quite simple – find the true heir of Lord Prince and Lord Potter. Get this child under his absolute control, well he knew always how to get what he wants and of course getting rid of anyone, who could figure out the truth. Poor Albus, was still so naive, even after 2 decades in prison. Gellert had only to snip with his fingers and the powerless weakling would gladly roll over to let Gellert play with his body as he saw fit. It amuses him to no end.

But how would he come back in a positive light with those annoying sheeple. As tedious as it was, but he would have to engage in a case of arsonist and rescue a certain half-blood – the Snape boy would do nicely, as he had still plans to use him, even when he would have to lay them on ice for now. Maybe it was time to allow certain physicals once more at Hogwarts. It was always so helpful to find out their little weaknesses and who knows, maybe he figure something out to blackmail the families of his pupils.

Allowing the little werewolf access to Hogwarts was a genius' stroke. Why should he deny a darker creature an education, when this would make the boy a debtor and helpful little slave. Sure, he would have to collar him, when the boy turns 15, most of those half-breeds matures more quickly, but Gellert knows enough dark spells and potions to bend the little cretin to his will. He would just look the other way, when Lupin has a bit of fun, while ensuring that the Lupins paid him a hefty sum from their personal wealth. He had personally ensured that Remus didn't need to register at the Ministry so this stigma could be avoided. Additional wards on the Shrieking Shack or on the secret passages weren't necessary. Anyone, who is stupid enough to enter the Shack or tried to became a friend of a dark beast, deserves his fate.

Lupin wasn't even a bad brewer, but he had specialised on brewing compulsion and sedatives, which he used to get his dorm mates under control. He would be perfect to gain control over the dimwit Frank Longbottom, a little hint to Pettigrew and the rat would enjoy to lock werewolf and victim in a closet together. After he had knotted the little blighter, Dumbledore would used a guilt trip to get Frank's compliance and be his willing slave, when he didn't want to lose his inheritance, after all he would have been knotted by a dark creature. No woman would want anything to do with such a weakling.

But back to him hating mundane and mundane raised half breeds. Following the meeting with the governing board and the input or apparent advice from their financial masters. Hogwarts was to start and follow all the old rituals and holidays from magical society.

He had of course tried to argue that such heavy handiness was unfair and would isolate the mundane children that attended Hogwarts. But apparently if the headmaster was to only follow the mundane religious festivals and rituals then every day would particularly be a feast day. Take the Yule celebration apparently, by following the Christian Anglican churches feast day of Christmas, he was marginalising the Jewish, Muslim, Hindu followers in the school. Then there had been a letter of complaint from that mundane Richardson family who had as very strict Jehovah's witnesses followers informed the school that allowing the Christian festival of Christmas to be celebrated openly conflicted with their beliefs and would confuse their son. So the board with the mundane governments backing had bowed down to the mundanes, and the festivals and rituals that would be followed at Hogwarts now would be the old magical and pagan rituals.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Severus nudged Lily who looked up from their transfiguration homework to see what Severus had noticed. Lily really was glad of the distraction, she was desperately trying to find another 950 words out of a 1000 word essay on the complexities of transfiguring one item into another, and it was a necessary skill for a magical person to have. Really she had padded out her essay to fifty words, but really you could only say who cares, when you can buy the item you are trying to transfigure on line from E-Bay and obtain double Nectar Points on your purchase in so many different ways. 

Lily noticed that their new house mate James Potter was bent over his work, scribbling furiously onto paper and not parchment. Severus' stepbrother Conner looked up as well from the homework and sighed in the actual futile boredom of rewriting either a Star Wars story, or a Star Trek episode to pad out the home and course work they were given.

He was currently at the moment completing his DADA homework, and had he thought used an episode of Doctor Who and the invasion of the Daleks to good effect. Replace a sonic screwdriver for a wand, the Tardis for a portkey and away you went Conner got up on the subtle nod from Lily and went to see what the teacher's pet and swat James was writing, he looked in amazement at the essay James was busy writing and exclaimed “Where on earth did it say in any of our essays James! To explain how to exhume a client twenty different ways? And extra marks will be given for uniqueness and inventiveness......hang on......that’s one a bit far fetched........number 20) leave a person on the A1 just south of Lincoln at night in minus 4° temperature two weeks before Christmas in just a Tee-Shirt and wheel spin the car out of the lay-by as quick as you can...”

“It’s possible...would need split second planning.....but possible!” James Potter replied to Conner.

“So where’s your DADA or Transfiguration homework then? Don’t forget we have to give it in tomorrow mate”

“SHIT! Tomorrow....SHIT....SHIT....SHIT....have to beg Godfather dearest to let his Godson off with handing late work in with a mild talking to from the professors again”

Lily joined in the conversation at this point “Forget about this crap they try to teach at this dump...the real question is what the hell are you studying James”

James sighed and answered “The first years correspondence course for gentlemen exhumer at the Academy of Assassins of Ankh Morph....motto is ‘no pay, no exhuming”

“So you are not going to be an Auror then, as Dumbles keeps telling us all” Conner ventured to ask James Potter

“Why would I want to be an Auror and always in his pocket......killing and following his orders as if he was Merlin himself, everybody knows they are corrupt and just thick thugs” there was looks of incredibility from his house mates, James continued “I took a cold hard look at the prat I was before starting here and when I was a member of the Lion’s house. Listed my positive and negative traits and looked for a position or career that would utilise them to my full potential and allow me to live the good life.......Came up with being an Assassin......enrolled in the correspondence course of Ankh-Morpork Assassins academy, if I graduate with honours the world is my oyster and I am almost guaranteed a job with her Majesty’s mundane secret service or a bit of free lance work for the Mafia, in fact some Assassins do both....as long as the Mafia's jobs don’t interfere with the HMS agency they don’t care....In fact sometimes an Assassin can earn a bit of extra money exhuming the same client for two plus people!”

At this point everybody round the table looked at James and Conner had to be the one to ask “Kill the same client for two or more people....give us an example then”

“Mundane Assassination of President Kennedy.......great bit of work. Believe me the Assassin who did it is my hero....totally professional and committed.......He was paid by the Mafia, The CIA and FBI, The USSR, China and the Catholic Church also unconfirmed report that his actual employers the British Secret service gave him the job first, but the possible link with the British Mundane Government has never been confirmed, only rumours of their involvement.....the Assassin with that one exhumation could have retired no problem....but liked the work to much to retire and best of all he managed to ensure his other hit for the day was blamed and then assassinate as well by somebody else......awesome work...just awesome...met the man during the week I had off at Halloween to attend one of his compulsory lectures....he is a professor at the academy...great guy and so funny.....the life and the soul of any party he attends” James explained enthusiastically. Everybody else at the table looked at him opened mouth; and Lily demanded the answer to the question on everybody’s lips “So if you are studying at another academy!......how on earth do you get at least exceeds expectations or outstandings on your course and home work? Come on spill the details?” 

James sighed and pulled out from his endless bag he carried with him a file full of parchment and replied “Pay some of the other years pupils, mostly from the Snake house to have a copy of their essays etc......change a few words add a few references and you get an exceeds expectation.....if I AM INTERESTED in the subject or it could be useful to my main studies I try a bit harder and get an Outstanding...simple really”

Lily looked at Conner and silently gave her support and consent, Conner held out his hand to James Potter and stated matter of fact “Welcome officially to the Badger house Potter......now the rules of the house are any cheating or extra help a house member receives from others is shared with the rest of your house mates....so hand over the essays you have got” with that James Potter now a fully fledged Badger happily shared the coursework he had paid for.

Not for the first time Lily was glad that she and her brother had been sorted into the thickest house in Hogwarts. What nobody else outside their house never realised was that the Badgers per sue couldn’t care less about their magical course work, they were the pupils like their compatriots the Snakes and Ravens concentrating on their careers outside of this dump. The Badgers and Snakes had long ago realised that there was nothing worthwhile for them in the magical world when they finally graduated from the dump that was Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.

The Ravens house also known as the house of the intelligence, studied hard at Hogwarts, very often going beyond the coursework set. The Ravens being as intelligent as they were and with a half goblin head of house knew that if they gained their baccalauréat from the Goblins by the time they graduated from Hogwarts, they could pursue a magical career in other countries. Nearly all Ravens on graduating Hogwarts went and studied in other magical countries including America, Japan etc. Very often Ravens ended up emigrating to the other countries pushing the boundaries forward of magical knowledge.

People in British magical society, looked at Hogwarts and then at the careers and successfulness of the Hogwarts houses pupils. Of course the Gryffindor’s were always over represented in the Wizengamot, the British magical ministry and other British magical professions. Except of course for the careers and professions that the Dark creatures had taken for their own.

So parents in the magical world and especially from Light and Gellert supporting families ensured that their children aimed to be sorted into the Gryffindor house, where they reasoned their children would be successful. The fact that three quarters of Hogwarts pupils when they graduated said goodbye to British magical society as soon as they could out the school gates had never been made known to them.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gellert looked astounded, he had got his follower Poppy Pomfrey matron of Hogwarts school to take blood test of all the students from all students, of course he used the excuse that the blood tests were for the benefit’s of the students, screening them for magical conditions and diseases. In reality he wanted to find the heir to the Potter and Prince Lordships, and then identify any pupil that had traits or conditions that could have been of use to him.

He had hit gold, Poppy though her tests had identified the Potter and Prince heir and the boy was a natural male bearer. Best of all the boy was in the preferred house of Gryffindor and easily corruptible, of course the child was a pure blood and a idiot to boot as well. 

Gellert patted himself on the back, his best ideas so simple at times always yielded the results he needed. Gellert now knew he could continue to ignore the other three houses in Hogwarts. The Snake house he could continue to marginalised due its fanatical support of the old ways, the Badgers were filled with half breed scum and muggle scum including the Snape boy who now it seems was nothing but a normal magical child. It seemed that the information that he received regarding the last Prince heir and daughter Persephone hadn’t been Snape’s mother Eileen had been wrong. He would have ensured that the individual who gave him the information concerning Persephone Prince would regret it, but unfortunately he had already killed him and thier family to ensure no body else learnt about the information.

The Eagles were so engrossed in their studies and academia that he just dismissed them and their head of house the half creature Fillius. 

No he could concentrate on his preferred house of Gryffindor, ensuring that the house members became part of his willing and eager followers. Best of all the boy to Potter and Prince heirship was the Great Great Grandson of Lord Weasley, it seems that the disinherited son of Lord Prince and Potter had an affair with Lord’s Weasley brood mare and had resulted in Arthur becoming the heir to those two Lordships. 

Of course Gellert would have to wait and bide his time to impregnate Arthur Weasley, and to ensure that Arthur became his and his alone. Gellert would have to start to cultivate Arthur and show him small favours so the boy started to seek him out for advice and friendship, instead of his family. It was so easy to corrupt young adolescents minds, of course it all made sense now to Gellert why Arthur’s father had taken the boy to Gringotts and drawn up a strict bonding contract with the eldest Prewitt twin male boy.

Gellert sat back and mentally started to re-evaluate and make plans, based on the test that Poppy had carried out for him. Of course Gellert knew that things would be changed, and he always prided himself on ensuring that his plans were fluid enough to allow such changes.


End file.
